Spark (Introduction to Flame)
by ariainthestars
Summary: In a twist of fate, Alex finds herself a hero for Benson. Benson has finally broke down, she is on her knees. Can Alex fix her, or will some other rise to the occasion? Sad, shouldn't be triggering. Reviews completely welcome.
1. Chapter 1

"I bet your wondering why I tried to kill myself."

Olivia's fingers twisted around the rim of her coffee cup, the stale smell binding her living room in a stagnant air. District Attorney Cabot stood at the counter, parallel from the detective, whose legs were crisscrossed on the couch.

"I would…like to know…yes." Alex replied.

A sigh escaped Olivia's lips, her chopped hair in disarray and her attire disheveled. Her head still ached, and the pitting feeling in her stomach gnawed at her with a new kind of misery. The doctor warned her about eating. After a stomach pumping procedure, she couldn't eat without agony shooting through her body.

A body that was nearly lost. With nerve endings and lymph nodes and experiences that no one else could truly know. She didn't want to talk about it. She didn't need a coworker, she needed a friend. She _needed_ Stabler. She _needed_ a baby.

What she had was Jack Daniels and Ambien. So she made due.

"Olivia, we don't have to talk about this now. I feel like… I should be here."

If she hadn't been here in the first place, Olivia would be gone.

Sure it was ill-timed. Olivia knew that during the weekday, her phone would be buzzing with rape calls and coworker texts, rushing her back into her real life. She knew that people might come looking for her.

But that morning, she couldn't hear the victim's testimonies ringing in her ears like a church bell. She couldn't hear the screeching of wheels or the scratching of the pavement. She heard a thunderstorm, and her tears fell like the rain, but they wouldn't stop. She had been drowning for years, grasping wildly at a future that had eluded her long ago, almost tasting the air, and then losing it again. Her tears against the hardwood floor were the loudest things she had heard all her life. They were telling her she was hopeless, she was barren, she was forgotten. And to her, they were telling her the truth.

Stumbling to her medicine cabinet, she didn't bother with a note or goodbye. They would know why she left. They could see it in her eyes.

Even as she collapsed against the cold tile she couldn't regret the decisions she had made. They were finally leading her back with her mother. They were leading her home.


	2. Chapter 2

Fate, however, had other ideas. It caught word of her squandering, of her rapid descent, and it waltzed into the corners of Alex's mind.

It told her to read the dates of their lunch wrong, and when she dined in candle-and-tablecloth eatery alone, it told her to march over to Olivia's apartment and give her a piece of her mind.

Then, as she twisted the door open, replacing her key into her pocket, the dead silence lead her to the bathroom of that lonely studio apartment.

Where she found a pale Olivia curled up on the floor, cradling her gun.

The first thought that crossed Alex's mind was that, in retrospect, seemed selfish.

What about me? She asked herself.

What about her? She had never offered anything besides friendship to Olivia; she never had the nerve to say a thing about her…feelings. The feelings that she never fully understood herself. Some days, when the workflow was slow at the courthouse, and the squad room was playful and demure, Alex would linger over Olivia's desk, scrambling for topics of conversation just to hear her voice. Olivia would smile and laugh, and place her hands submissively behind her head, and lean back in her chair in the way that she did. To Alex, every movement could sustain her. She soaked in Olivia's lips, her cheekbones, her hips, and most often her mind, and the everlasting way she continued to care. Alex thought she saw the fire in her eyes, and after a while she began to think it burned just for her. But now she knew this wasn't true. Olivia was going to leave it all – the squad, the victims, and her. She was going to leave her. And what would she have done without her?

"I don't need you to be here. I'm…um fine."

"Olivia you're not…"

"Alex please."


	3. Chapter 3

The exasperation in her voice instantly brought water to Alex's eyes. Her heels clacked on the floor and her hands slid down the silk of her black dress. She wanted to comfort her, but the space between them stretched on for miles, and she was sure Olivia wouldn't go the distance. In a shift of moment she was bent over the couch, and a complacent Liv refused eye contact.

"Get some sleep Olivia."

"Leave the key."

Alex nodded and turned around, walking to the front door of her apartment, and eyeing the side table. Then, she ignored it. She wasn't going to leave her key. She wasn't going to cut her ties to Olivia. She adored that woman. She wasn't going to let her die.

A last sentence hit Alex's ears, and before they reached her brain she had hopes that Olivia would call her back into her arms.

"Don't tell the squad about this."

It was a plea disguised as a command.

"Yes, Olivia."

Out of the door and into the hallway, she made five steps out when she heard the creak of a door behind her. Swiveling around, and caught by sudden shock, Alex caught sight of Olivia leaning on her apartment door, catching Alex's eye.

She didn't make a sound, and Alex went searching.

Somewhere, in those deep brown eyes, Alex found a spark. She followed it cautiously into Olivia's embrace, where her hands were requited with hands tied around her waist. It was a hug, candidly said. With Alex's hands tightly clutched around her body, her ribcage pressed against her chest, Olivia felt a new need that ached with more intensity than ever before. Lighting stretched through Alex's fingers and into Olivia's spine, and even as they parted the thunder roared in both their ears. Rain ensued and Olivia turned away again, retreating into her apartment once again, leaving a dumbfounded Alex standing alone in the hallway, clutching a purse and burning with confusion.

Even so, she rode the storm. She turned from the door and continued down the hallway, her heels clacking lighter against the floor.

The clouds would part for Olivia, and Alex would be there to carry her down.


	4. What's next?

If you want to read the rest of the story, it is called 'Flame' and you can find it under my author profile. This was a sort of test run but because people seem to enjoy it I am going to keep on writing. The next chapter picks up a lot more in my opinion. I will post more chapters periodically and as frequently as I can manage without jeopardizing quality. Thanks for reading!


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